Like most other tiny tots, I cried relentlessly on my first day of school life. I did not like the idea of being abandoned by mom and dad in a place full of screaming children, perhaps it seemed like a torture house. In a bid to make me stop crying, my dad picked me up and said, "Son, if you want to be a policeman and beat up people, you need to go to school first." Yes, that was the first ambition I ever had, one that I vaguely remember. A violent little prat I was, and I guess I was quite inspired by the way policemen punched out bad guys in movies.
About five years later, during my last couple of years at primary school, I scoffed at the idea of being a policeman, and I set my sights on a newer and more impressive word - Scientist! I was quite a bright student then and whenever I told someone that I wanted to be a Scientist, they cheered me on and even believed that I would one day, be the same. But those days, I hadly knew that Science was more than just learning the fact that 'plants have life' or that we 'breathe in oxygen and give out Carbon dioxide'.
Three years later, when I had had enough of Physics and Chemistry, I had to drop the Scientist idea. But again, there had to be a goal in every school boy's life, and my new ambition was Archaeology! Not that I scored outstanding marks in History or Geography, but it was this new-found dream to travel, and to discover. Of course I knew that almost every corner of the world had been discovered and explored by legends of History like Columbus, Magellan, Marco Polo and millions of other known and unknown men and women. However, I was still fascinated with History, and a trip to the ancient temples in Kumbakonam, especially the vibrant Darasuram, and also the spectacular stories of battles and sieges that I was fed on, spurred me on.
However, my mom and dad ridiculed my idea and asked me to choose a more realistic ambition. I thought I would never give up on my idea though, but anyway, at the end of my tenth grade, I had to choose a major. The choices were Bio with PCM, Computer Science with PCM, and finally Commerce. I had no idea about Commerce, except that people kept telling me that it was the third group and people with low marks in their tenth boards had no choice but to take up this group. Thus crazily informed, I was keen to keep away from Commerce. During that time I had developed a strong dislike for computers and Engineering. My friends were always way ahead of me in their knowledge about computers, gadgets and machines. Two of my best friends used to leave me in the dark when they often discussed about the latest computer games, hardwares, softwares and crap. Perhaps this is why I still hate Engineering, and so, the only option left was Biology, which was the First group!!
I convinced my dad that I took up Biology because I wanted to be a doctor. (He felt MBBS was more realistic than Archaeology!) But in truth, I was looking forward to being a vet. I loved animals and I was particularly inspired by the legendary Croc Hunter, Steve Irwin. Halfway through my high school though, I found that veterinary science was a gruesome job, and so once again, I dropped my ambition. As was customary, I had to fish out another new goal, and this time, Bio-technology and Genetics caught my eye. But very soon, I realized that it was quite a complicated field, rather too complicated for my liking! A couple of months before the start of my final board exams, I began to get desperate. I applied for the Humanities entrance exam at IIT, while most of my friends booked for JEE! After the board exams though, I was completely relaxed and all of a sudden I found myself in a position I'v never been in. I did write the Humanities exam, but with the very little time I had to prepare, I knew I would not make it. So at that point, I was without any real, solid goal. Though I was determined not to take up Engineering, I was still not sure which other road to take!
Confused, yet I was in no hurry to find myself a new ambition. The holidays after school were long, but fun and deserving. People would ask me what I was going to do next, what course I was gonna choose, and I would reply without any fuss or hesitation- "anything but Engineering"! Late in May, our results were announced, I was relieved to have secured a respectable total. But my cut-off marks were on the average side, and my dad frowned and grunted, "With this mark, I don't think any Engineering college would take you in!"
I blinked! That was one remark I had never expected. All these years, I was determined to keep my back to Engineering, but the thought that Engineering itself would not accept a student like me, fuelled a rage within, and the very same day, I was in AMCET, filling out my admission form; They warned me that ECE was the toughest stream, and I said, with that rage and pride still burning inside me, "Bring it on!!! "
Now, three years have passed since I took the dumbest decision of my life; It had been eighteen years ago when I had wanted to be a policeman! And during those years in between, there have been several professions that i had wanted to choose, yet I find myself in that one field I never wished to be in. Academically, the three years in Engineering have been disastrous for me. I am not one to live eternally in regret, I know there's a lot more to life. I'm having my huge share of fun and party with my friends, and with one last year of engineering left, I need to try and focus on mending all the academic and social cracks in my life!
Though I had discarded the idea of being an Archaeologist, I am still fascinated by the thoughts of an extremely adventurous life full of travels, explorations and discoveries. Once again, I have created an ambition for myself- Journalism! But no matter what I become, I only hope that my career would take me places. To HELL with engineering!
I need to walk free, I wish to run wild....... I just wanna FLYYY!!!
Sigh! But I know how my friends would react- "Nee thirundave maate da!"
"Nee thirundave maate da!"
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