My Jungle on the GST

We live in a gated community today. Around 450 apartments clustered over nine floors and four blocks. We have neighbours all around. Upstairs, downstairs, left and right, front and back, East and West, South and North; you name the direction and we’ll find there a neighbour. We know not, however, any of them. There is always that excuse, “Where is the time to socialize?” My sister and I walked over to the apartment next door with a box of sweets on a festival day. A man in his fifties opened the door, stared at us like we were salespeople, but turned a smile when he realized that we were two of his many anonymous neighbours. “Oh you got sweets, thank you! You are from across the lobby? 305?” “Oh no uncle, we’re staying next door, 303.” “Ah good, I live here—302.” “Yes, we can see that. Happy holidays, we gotta go now.” More forced smiles, some awkward Japanese-style bowing of our heads, and soon, we were back home and comfortable, at 303!

Twenty-one years of my life, we lived in an independent house, facing the national highway, the Grand Southern Trunk, aka the GST Road. The house itself was almost hidden away behind a dozen and more shades of green, and I called my home the “Jungle on the GST.” Life in an apartment, though, is so much more peaceful, and let me tell you why. Back at the jungle, our biggest worries were about the receding water level in our well. Yes! we had a proper “well,” not a bore well. Kids these days might want to Google the term. There were apartments coming up all around us, and their bore wells, we believed, were responsible for our well drying up. And then there was this problem of general maintenance. We had to hunt for days to find a plumber, electrician, a painter, or a gardener. Here at the gated community, these services are part of the package, 24x7.

It has been three years since we had a power-cut and a candle-light dinner with the moths and other winged critters, three years since we made our last call to the EB; three years since dad had to clear up the walkway to our door after a monsoon night. Not anymore, not here at 303. Back at the jungle, we sweated out on many weekends on our garden. Clearing away dead leaves, cleaning the knee-deep lily pond of algae, feeding love birds, diamond doves, cockatiels, and little finches that filled our little aviary; and the most priceless of all—giving our dog a bath. It was a once-a-month affair and a pretty tedious one at that. The task demanded the attention of three people. My dad, I, and the third would be my sister, mom, or grandmother. One held the soap, one held the hose and bucket, another held the dog. At the end of the hour-long battle, each of us would be as wet and dripping as our amused dog. Speaking of hose brings to mind the picture of dad or grandmother going around the garden with it every morning. Or during weekends, it was my sister, and sometimes, I. Our neighbours had cats, and they (the cats) would visit every Sunday afternoon for fish or chicken, had long naps on our backyard, and they made sure to leave the compound late evening before we let our dog out. We also had coconut trees; and they were a threat because a coconut was likely to fall on your head if you stood under it. (Don’t ask me why you would want to stand under it.)

The rains were a nuisance at the jungle. All the greens around the house would get a shade or two darker, and the bushes became so much thicker that you could hardly spot the house behind it. The smell of fresh earth would bring along with it new colourful insects, and many times, we even found a snake in our lily-pond. We suspected it could have been hunting for fish, but we let it be. We did sometimes worry about the snake entering the house, but I was more worried about our dog finding the snake and trying to bite it.

That was all at the jungle though; here at 303, we worry not of such things. We cannot have our own budgies or finches, but there are pigeons that fly past our windows. We do not have a private lily pond anymore with pink lilies that bloom once a lucky year, and with fish and snake; but we have a common swimming pool, a common lawn, a common gym, and common what not (but of course, we have not the time for any of those what-nots); but the best part is, we need not tend to any cleaning of ponds or aviaries, or muddy our finger nails and toes in the name of gardening. Dogs are allowed in our apartments but with strict conditions and rules; we decided not to get one, so no more family battles to give a dog a bath. No more hosing around. No neighbours or their cats to bother us at lunch on precious Sundays. It does not matter if the leaves turn greener or the flowers lure butterflies. The monsoon does not worry us anymore. No moths, no insects, no smell of fresh earth.

This is modern living; for those of us, or rather all of us, who have one eye fixed on the clock at all times. This is modern living, where a house is not the home it once used to be. This is modern living, and I see everywhere more locked up bungalows waiting to be brought down to rubble and turn into multi-floor apartments.

I live, here at 303, an easy life. Yet my heart stays at that jungle, with the birds, the fish, the wild and unkempt trees, the pond with the lilies, with my dog and the snake.

The mist ahead

                      Finally, my college life too is over. It's been hardly a week but life has changed almost completely. Or atleast life around me has changed. Friends still call me out almost everyday, but not for parties or movies, but to attend interviews, to visit job consultants and sometimes to discuss weird business plans. Within hours after our last exam, the world seemed to have turned seriously grim and desperate. Some of my classmates and friends got placed on-campus and off, few have already started working, many are still hunting for interviews, some waiting it out to dive into that perfect dream career, and a few who already are recruiting or recommending fellow classmates into their company. To think, we all stepped out of the same college gate at the same time!
                      Everybody's scrambling for position, and time is not on our side. Now that we have finished education, we are expected to stand up on our own feet. This is the moment when most of us are pushed off the edges of our nests, and before we hit the rocky ground below, we need to pull out our wings and soar. Most of my friends are falling even as I write, and struggling to open their wings before they reach bottom. I on the other hand, am still in my nest, standing over the edge and peering down to see if there is any lonely cloud on which I can comfortably float upon. For those few like me who are still safe in their nests, we would always have in mind that parents are never so patient and they will push us out soon and that we need to be ready.
                      Life is always crazy, but post-college, life just got a tad crazier. A few weeks ago during exams, I heard talks about get-togethers and parties, but now suddenly I find it hard to be in touch with more than two or three friends at a time. Some have already left the city to go back to their hometown, some have left the state to work elsewhere, and almost everyday now, I get news about friends getting selected in interviews and joining work. It is all so amusing; two days ago, I could not stop laughing when a certain friend called me up and said he got selected in an interview that day and that he was going to work from the very next. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that that guy would talk something so serious, because throughout college, I had never come across a more easy-going person. I really could not believe it when he said that. In fact, even now it crosses my mind that he might have just been playing.
                     As troubling as it all seems already, yet I know this is all just the beginning. The beginning of another crucial change in this voyage of life. The life at college is often termed as the golden phase, and well, I do not know what they call the days after that. But from where I stand now, I would call it the misty phase because I have no idea what lies ahead, I just keep madly rushing forward, hoping not to hit a brick wall. I would not know until I hit! Fingers crossed, it is now almost time to make the dive and my wings are ready to take flight; I would probably take a while to soar over the clouds, but for the moment, it is all about opening the wings at the right time and pulling up... It is all about taking a chance, about believing in the impossible, about living a dream... And of course, it is all about survival! 
                      

ayyappath: A Goal Without Its Post

ayyappath: A Goal Without Its Post: Like most other tiny tots, I cried relentlessly on my first day of school life. I did not like the idea of ...

A Goal Without Its Post

                                Like most other tiny tots, I cried relentlessly on my first day of school life. I did not like the idea of being abandoned by mom and dad in a place full of screaming children, perhaps it seemed like a torture house. In a bid to make me stop crying, my dad picked me up and said, "Son, if you want to be a policeman and beat up people, you need to go to school first." Yes, that was the first ambition I ever had, one that I vaguely remember. A violent little prat I was, and I guess I was quite inspired by the way policemen punched out bad guys in movies.
                                About five years later, during my last couple of years at primary school, I scoffed at the idea of being a policeman, and I set my sights on a newer and more impressive word - Scientist! I was quite a bright student then and whenever I told someone that I wanted to be a Scientist, they cheered me on and even believed that I would one day, be the same. But those days, I hadly knew that Science was more than just learning the fact that 'plants have life' or that we 'breathe in oxygen and give out Carbon dioxide'.
                                 Three years later, when I had had enough of Physics and Chemistry, I had to drop the Scientist idea. But again, there had to be a goal in every school boy's life, and my new ambition was Archaeology! Not that I scored outstanding marks in History or Geography, but it was this new-found dream to travel, and to discover. Of course I knew that almost every corner of the world had been discovered and explored by legends of History like Columbus, Magellan, Marco Polo and millions of other known and unknown men and women. However, I was still fascinated with History, and a trip to the ancient temples in Kumbakonam, especially the vibrant Darasuram, and also the spectacular stories of battles and sieges that I was fed on, spurred me on.
                                  However, my mom and dad ridiculed my idea and asked me to choose a more realistic ambition. I thought I would never give up on my idea though, but anyway, at the end of my tenth grade, I had to choose a major. The choices were Bio with PCM, Computer Science with PCM, and finally Commerce. I had no idea about Commerce, except that people kept telling me that it was the third group and people with low marks in their tenth boards had no choice but to take up this group. Thus crazily informed, I was keen to keep away from Commerce. During that time I had developed a strong dislike for computers and Engineering. My friends were always way ahead of me in their knowledge about computers, gadgets and machines. Two of my best friends used to leave me in the dark when they often discussed about the latest computer games, hardwares, softwares and crap. Perhaps this is why I still hate Engineering, and so, the only option left was Biology, which was the First group!!
                                   I convinced my dad that I took up Biology because I wanted to be a doctor. (He felt MBBS was more realistic than Archaeology!) But in truth, I was looking forward to being a vet. I loved animals and I was particularly inspired by the legendary Croc Hunter, Steve Irwin. Halfway through my high school though, I found that veterinary science was a gruesome job, and so once again, I dropped my ambition. As was customary, I had to fish out another new goal, and this time, Bio-technology and Genetics caught my eye. But very soon, I realized that it was quite a complicated field, rather too complicated for my liking! A couple of months before the start of my final board exams, I began to get desperate. I applied for the Humanities entrance exam at IIT, while most of my friends booked for JEE! After the board exams though, I was completely relaxed and all of a sudden I found myself in a position I'v never been in. I did write the Humanities exam, but with the very little time I had to prepare, I knew I would not make it. So at that point, I was without any real, solid goal. Though I was determined not to take up Engineering, I was still not sure which other road to take!
                                   Confused, yet I was in no hurry to find myself a new ambition. The holidays after school were long, but fun and deserving. People would ask me what I was going to do next, what course I was gonna choose, and I would reply without any fuss or hesitation- "anything but Engineering"! Late in May, our results were announced, I was relieved to have secured a respectable total. But my cut-off marks were on the average side, and my dad frowned and grunted, "With this mark, I don't think any Engineering college would take you in!"
                                   I blinked! That was one remark I had never expected. All these years, I was determined to keep my back to Engineering, but the thought that Engineering itself would not accept a student like me, fuelled a rage within, and the very same day, I was in AMCET, filling out my admission form; They warned me that ECE was the toughest stream, and I said, with that rage and pride still burning inside me, "Bring it on!!! "
                                   Now, three years have passed since I took the dumbest decision of my life; It had been eighteen years ago when I had wanted to be a policeman! And during those years in between, there have been several professions that i had wanted to choose, yet I find myself in that one field I never wished to be in. Academically, the three years in Engineering have been disastrous for me. I am not one to live eternally in regret, I know there's a lot more to life. I'm having my huge share of fun and party with my friends, and with one last year of engineering left, I need to try and focus on mending all the academic and social cracks in my life!
                                   Though I had discarded the idea of being an Archaeologist, I am still fascinated by the thoughts of an extremely adventurous life full of travels, explorations and discoveries. Once again, I have created an ambition for myself- Journalism! But no matter what I become, I only hope that my career would take me places. To HELL with engineering! 

              I need to walk free, I wish to run wild....... I just wanna FLYYY!!!

 Sigh! But I know how my friends would react- "Nee thirundave maate da!"

      

Adieu...to the days of our lives!

              Sitting idle for a while can bring to one's mind strange thoughts, which are more often than not, true. In about a month, I will have to be in college again, the beginning of a new semester, and the beginning of the 'final' year. It seems quite ironic to me that my friends and I would come to the end of our college days the same year as the world is supposed to end (2012). :p Of the 21 years that I have lived, the last 3 years for some reason, seem to have whizzed past in a hurry. A fascinating ride one could say, the college days. Seniors and my older cousins often recall their final years in college as the best of their lives, which means my best days are just round the corner. Excited as I am, there still is a spot of bother, a pain or worry that lingers somewhere at the bottom of the heart. It might be because I try to squint through the life beyond final year in college and I can make out nothing but thick mist.
                Let's face it; None of us really believe that Armageddon is slated for 2012, so we do try and predict our future beyond it. So far, there really has not been much of a worry regarding our fates, because for the time being, we are with our most trusted friends, and they are all, in one way or the other, staring down at the same barrel. During times of difficulties, we have learnt to live with each other and find solace in those friends we are blessed with. Whenever life pulls us down, people say that friends lend a hand and pull us back up. But here in college, I find that all my friends are down here at the bottom of the sea with me and yet, we party and rejoice like crazy. We hardly pause to look into the future for it seems too eerily distorted. For now, we are happy to just live in the present and with friends by our sides, none of us are alone. It would seem that we can never be separated, but those of you who have already graduated would know the hard and bitter truth.
                  No matter what we may promise by spoken word, or what we write into a friend's slam book, once we step out of the college gates for the very last time, our paths diverge. The responsibilities that would be thrust upon us would eventually pull us down to the real, dreary world. College is all about defining friendship, the strong emotions and the big secrets that we share with each other strengthen those tight bonds between us. We'v been possessive about our friends, laughed with them till our stomachs pained, even for the silliest of jokes, we'v slept off hours of forgotten lectures, all the teasing and the pranks we'v played while we were awake; one could speak for a lifetime about those little moments. Soon, those moments will be mere memories that constantly wash our minds like the waves at the shore. The secrets may die out, the bonds may fade...the memories though, will remain till the very end. Though four years is only a brief while in a lifetime, we know that this brief period has made our lives worth living.
                As we begin to drift apart in just a few months, it would mark the end of the best phase of our lives. We would never again sit together with all those close buddies behind scribbled-upon desks, some friends, we might never even see or hear of them again. There will come days however, like today, when I'l sit idle and look back at the better part of life, will walk down those empty corridors which echo with joyous talks and laughter, I'l peer into the deserted class rooms, and find myself with all my friends sitting on our chairs, arms around shoulders and feet on the desks. I will definitely remember the final day; the hugs, the cheers and the silent stream of tears, all a testimony to the golden days we'v lived and shared...Even as I dream of those glorious days, I shall believe that elsewhere, my friends too are sailing over the same sea of tears, the sea of dreams; no matter how far apart we may be, we shall still walk hand in hand along the memory lane, we shall walk with a smile and a tear... A walk through The days of our lives...!